What’s In A Name?

What’s in a name?

I took all the necessary steps prior to branding my business in order to brand my business. That is what you’re supposed to do, right?

But here I am over ten thousand dollars later left with a system that tells young people to follow the rules and make sure they are legit. A world that makes people of color (add being a woman on top) feel inadequate all while reaping the benefits of our love, beauty, and creativity. As long as we keep inspiring, we are all good. Just don’t let us get too inspired to actually go after the very opportunities our counterparts so effortlessly have within reach. I say within reach as to not take away the hard work that “they” too put in because most of them do put in work too. But the road to excellence is just so much lighter, so much straighter.

What’s in a name?

Your identity is what they say. But what happens when that identity is challenged? When the very name chosen to set you apart is threatened by the notion that one ruling can tear it all apart because it sounds good to someone else. Someone that looks nothing like you. Someone that doesn’t work like you. Someone that wants so bad to do it just like you but doesn’t understand that it’s more than a name. They don’t understand it. They can’t wrap their brain around the fact that it is so much deeper than the name. That’s why it’s so easy for it to be taken, the name that is.

Not ME though.

What’s in a name?

Nothing.

Because what God places in your heart is Everything.

Once you know Who you, Whose you are, and What’s your place; no one can take that.

Xx, Constance

Empathetic Faith

I am an Empath.

As I discover more about what this means, I learn so much about my faith. The very notion of life and its connection to Spirituality was something that never confused me when allowed myself to just Be. Life seemed to be going so well in those moments. So well, I began to confuse myself.

Childhood traumas made me believe the life I was experiencing couldn’t be really mine. People would say, “Bad stuff happens, but you can overcome anything”. The problem was, I never really saw the “overcome” part growing up. I am proof that God can be right in the middle of your life working things out for the good and you will miss it. The trauma of past experiences tuned Him out. Spirituality became less about my existing relationship with God, to this quest of me looking for God.

The more I crumbled, the more God searched for me! During the height of the pandemic, my business closed. I found myself looking at a blank T.V. screen. The burning question in my mind was, “How did we get here???” I couldn’t face what I saw on the news so I grabbed my Bible. I love to pull things apart so quite naturally Genesis, the beginning, is where I started. Before I knew it, I had read through the entire Old Testament and was ultimately led back to Christ. I say “back to” Christ because I could feel myself in the stories. I started to empathize. I started remembering my own pain and His very presence in it the entire time. I was led back to my relationship with God that I had from the very beginning!

When I can’t think of a reason to love someone, I pick up my Bible and I use my gift of empathy to see life from a different lens. As an empath, I am learning that I cannot navigate life with this gift on my own. The more I understand Christ’s love, the easier it is for me to love. The ability to see me in Christ allows me to let His Spirit, the Holy Spirit be my guide.

I can see how I got here. I can see the pain and the victory.

I can move forward because I see just how much Jesus loves everyone that He encounters when I simply allow myself to just Be.  – (BM™)

It’s All Relative.

As I sit contemplating an overwhelming day, I can’t help but ponder that everything is all relative. I went through some tough experiences in my life. Moments that dared to define my very being. The very essence of who I am. Until I became sure of who’s I am, it was a battle that I never thought I could conquer. So, I searched. I searched for people to help me. Just like the Israelites did. Only during my searching phase, I knew nothing of the Old Testament really except that God made the world, that He made us in His own image, and then we fell and that was that, at least that is what I thought.

But back to my search. I was desperate to fill this void that I couldn’t quite understand. As I elevated in life the void was filled little by little with things like career success, financial stability, recognition, and all the things the world tells us we need in order to be happy. Indeed, I was happy, until the next time. Until the next handbag sat on the shelf, the next vacation was over, until the next magazine feature, etc. Each low moment was a new chance for me to search for that high again. And so, I did.

Along the way, I ran into some people that I am not ashamed of saying I met. I know all things work for the good so I can confidently express my thoughts and experience. I felt an emptiness and I was desperate to know why. I was desperate for someone to give me the answer. The problem is the people I sought knew just how desperate I was and just how open my heart was for true love.

Love to me has no limits. But love to me now does know boundaries. Something that I didn’t understand before. The deeper and darker my world seemed to get as I opened my heart to people that never meant me well; the higher God was willing to take me in order for me to truly see. Your pain will get low enough that you have no choice but to believe there has to be something greater than what you feel. I finally got to that point. And at that point, I finally saw the Light within me. His Light. Do I regret seeking Spiritual counsel from other sources? Absolutely not. God will allow you to go so far before you have to make a choice. I chose to trust Him and when I did, He showed me that He had been with me the whole time hoping they would also see His love and change their ways.

You see, the Israelites in the Old Testament did not understand the bondage they endured was finally over. They did not understand because they had nothing to compare being free to. I thank God for my ancestors because through their stories we have a blueprint. That blueprint is the tool we need in our minds to know when we are on the opposite side of fear. Pain produces purpose is a saying that I will carry with me forever. Without the pain I endured, I would never know what true love feels like. Without the Spirit of others manipulating and taking advantage of me (and yes, they were convincing to me for a while), I would have never believed in the power of the one true HOLY SPIRIT.

 I would have never learned about the man named Jesus Christ who responded to the nations that questioned if he were the One. He said to them “what does it matter?’ You had true Holy prophets sent by God like Moses and Isaiah and you did not believe them fully. So, what makes you think you will believe me?” (2 Timothy 3:15).

The only way through is faith. Faith in what is unseen. Faith solely based on the opposite of what you have seen which was never enough, never the answer, never the way. The only person we can truly believe without a shadow of a doubt is ourselves. That is why He chose to dwell within each of us if we would just have faith enough to open our hearts and allow Him to.

Now more than ever.

The Old and the New.

The Pain and the Purpose.

Is all Relative. -TBM

How Will I Know?

How Will I Know?

It is a question I have asked myself a million times. I searched all the wrong places that seemed so right for the answer. I believe now that God wanted it that way. Had I not, I wouldn’t know that what I now feel is the real deal. The very essence of His Holy Spirit dwelling within me. I remember being scared of knowing. Knowing who I truly am. Because the fact is when you know who You truly are, you are nothing. That statement may offend some. Like you don’t matter? Like you have no relevance? Yup. Who in this day and age with the sensationalized era of Social Media would desire to be nothing? Not feeling the approval? The approval we so desperately desire from what the media portrays.

I used to joke about how serious not being cool was. Back in the ’90s and early 2000’s you were actually more important if you weren’t really talked about!!!

Let that breathe.

So here I am. Finally, not a care in the world about being known. Well, not completely but I don’t let it consume me. We are human so it is natural to want to be loved and desired. But at what cost? That is where I confused it all. Finding out who Jesus was and how much He loved me over the past couple of years slowly changed the game for me. I went from thinking it was about me, to knowing, that it is all about Him. I let my ego go and made room for Him to take up space within me.

As I sit here on February 1, 2021, I can’t help but look back to last year where I thought I had it all figured out. It was a year beginning with growth in my faith and lots of tests. I remember feeling anger and frustration. I remember the day I left a famed beauty school as a guest speaker (another conversation, another day). A day I will never forget. A day that would foreshadow the events to come that I will share at a later time. I remember feeling hurt. But at who? God. Not even really understanding at the time that I was mad at God for believing I left not feeling the value I deserved. Looking at that day’s perspective I guess my feelings were warranted. But looking through the lens and perspective that I have today, I see that He was doing me a favor. I say favor because despite how I left that school on that day – feeling good, or bad- God owes me absolutely nothing! It takes a special sense of wisdom to say that statement and to truly understand what it means. For that reason and that reason alone, I am proud to say that I am nothing. You know why? Because with Him, I am everything and more.

I Just Know. -TBM®